The Bachelor, Vareigated Yarn, and The Shameless Plug.

Yesterday morning, I was sitting in front of Amy Number One. She talked to me for a few minutes, as usual. Suddenly, she leans forward and grabs the back of my hand to try to pinch me. All she got was mitten, so it didn't hurt.

Moi: Hey! Amy, don't do that!
Amy: I won't try to pinch you anymore.
M: You shouldn't pinch anyone. That's not nice!
A: I won't pinch anyone anymore. I'm sorry, Meg.
M: Thank you, Amy. It's okay.
A: Please forgive me, Meg. I'm sorry.
M: I forgive you, Amy.
A: I'm a nice person. Meg, I'm sorry.
M: I think you're a nice person.

And so it went. She apologized a hundred more times. I forgave her a hundred more times.

This morning, I got on the bus and sat in the seat next to her.

Amy: I'm not going to pinch you anymore.
Me: I appreciate that, Amy.
A: I'm a nice person.
M: I think so.
A: I want people to like me.

She had her word search book open.

A: Bachelor. asking me what it means.
M: A bachelor is a man who is not married.
A: A groom.
M: No, a groom is a man who just got married.
A: A husband.
M: A man is a bachelor first then he becomes a groom then he becomes a husband.

I pulled out a scarf I'm knitting.
A: What are you making?
M: A scarf.
A: For who?
M: It's for me.
A: What color is it going to be?
M: It's a bunch of different colors. There's brown, orange, blue and green.
A: Variegated. what??! where did that word come from??!
M: Exactly. I start putting scarf away.
A: Are you going to work on it when we get to RTP?
M: No, because I have to go to work. I'll work on it later.

Brief pause. Act II.

A: I'm a nice person.

A: What other kinds of things do you make?
M: I make lots of stuff. Sometimes it's for me and sometimes it's for other people.
A: My birthday is October 18.
M: Mine is October 5.
A: Are you going to make me something for my birthday?
M: I might. But if I do, I can't tell you because presents are supposed to be a surprise.
A: I didn't ask.
M: Okay.
A: I will not ask people for presents anymore. I'm a nice person.

Technically, she didn't ask me for a present. She asked if I was going to make her a present.

TGIF, or Amy, Chapstick and stickers.

I sat in front of Amy Number One this morning. I heard her chattering to herself with different voices. From what I heard and what I could Google, it sounds like she was replaying an episode of Veggie Tales. She decided to strike up a conversation with me this morning. I had my headphones on, so she leaned over, got about two inches from my face and yelled at me. Surprisingly, she adjusted her tone of voice when I took out my earphones.

A: Did you put Chapstick on your lips?
M: a little surprised Yes, I did. I'm fanatical about using lipbalm. I hate when my lips are dry.
A: I used Chapstick on my lips. she starts rubbing her lips
M: Not knowing what else to say It's good to use Chapstick when in the winter when it's cold outside.
A: Are you going to be here in the afternoon?
M: I will but I ride a different bus than you in the afternoon.
A: Were you here yesterday?
M: I was.
A: Did you have Chapstick with you yesterday?
M: I did. I always carry it with me.
A: Were you here Wednesday?
M: I was here Wednesday.
A: Were you here Tuesday?
M: I was, but I was a little late. I overslept.
A: Were you here Monday?
M: No. I stayed home on Monday because I had a cold.
A: Are you going to be here on Monday?
M: Yes, I will.
A: Do you have any stickers?
M: No. I don't think I have any stickers at home either. Do you like stickers?
A: I like stickers. What's your name?
M: I thought we'd been through this already. Meg.
A: Meg what?
M: Pilarski
A: What?
M: Pilarski.
A: Spell it.
M: P-I-L-A-R-S-K-I
A: Spell it again.
M: P-I-L-A-R-S-K-I
A: P-A-R...
M: P-I-L-A-R-S-K-I
A: spelling it with me P-I-L-A-R-S-K-I
At this point, she sits back. At one minutes intervals, she sits up and tries to spell my last name again. After three tries, she gets it and looks very pleased with herself.

About three minutes later, she sits up again.
A: Meg, am I behaving like I am supposed to?
M: Yes, Amy, you're very good.
A: I'm not going to make mouse noises anymore.
M: Oh, okay. Are you not supposed to make mouse noises?
A: Only children make mouse noises. I'm sitting like a lady. She sort of alludes to the bitchy bus driver telling her all of this.
A: A few minutes later I'm being a good girl.
M: You're always good Amy.

I have to run to Target and the craft store anyway this weekend, but I think I might pick up some stickers for her. I also want to ask her on Monday who told her that only children make mouse noises. It's one thing for this bus driver to ask her to not ring the bell while we're on I-40. It's quite another if she's telling Amy she has to sit like a lady.l

Shameless.

I took a big bag of chocolate chip cookies to the TTA staff yesterday morning. At the end of baking them, I had enough for two big cookies. I took one for lunch, and naturally gave my girl Amy the hook up to. She was walking towards me while I was giving them to the TTA guy, so I said, "and I have one for Amy too. Would you like a chocolate chip cookie, Amy?" She said yes, pulled it out of the waxed paper baggie and shoved the baggie back at me. She started eating it as she was getting on the waiting room bus. This morning as I got on the bus she asked me, "Did you give me cookies yesterday?" I said yes and asked her if she liked it. She said she did and thanked me. She then asked me if I had any more cookies. I told her I did not. I told her I gave them to the bus drivers. She was bummed.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

This morning, a woman was sitting in front of Amy Number One. Because she was talking to another lady across from her, she was sitting sideways. She was holding a white plastic grocery bag and a candy cane. Amy stuck up a rather shameless, yet hilarious conversation with her.

Amy: What do you have in the bag?

Miss Nona: Presents for people

Amy: Do you have any more candy canes?

Miss Nona: Yes.

Amy: Can I have a candy cane?

Miss Nona: Yes, you can. hands Amy candy cane

Amy: Can you get it started for me?

Miss Nona: laughing Yes. peels plastic off candy cane and hands it back to her
Amy: What's your name?

Miss Nona: Miss Nona

Amy: Miss Nona. Thank you. breaks candy and puts half of it in her mouth

Amy: Do you have any more presents in there?

Miss Nona: Yes, but they really are for other people.

Amy: disappointed Oh.

My work here is done!

On my way home tonight, The Other Amy was on the bus. Turns out she's one of the TTA planners, which explains why I haven't seen her recently. If you all remember, Amy Number One loves her. I told TO Amy what happened yesterday morning. She was upset about it too. She understands, and from what she said tonight, knows more about Amy #1's condition. Apparently, she's autistic, which explains a lot. TO Amy said her mother came with her on Monday, which was the first day of the new changes. She said that even with her mom with her, Amy #1 was getting agitated.

The Other Amy is going to investigate who the driver is and talk to her with the Customer Service Trainer. It's nice that someone else has Amy #1's back too.

And now we resume your regularly scheduled programming.

I might have mentioned that the TTA was changing things around. They moved the Transfer Center and had to redo the bus routes and schedules. They also changed drivers. I'll write more about that later. My first bus is still the 105, but I catch it about 10 minutes later in the morning. I figured I might not see the same people. To be honest here, I was worried I wasn't going to see Amy Number One anymore. Aside from being good blog fodder, she's grown on me. I like Amy. I miss her when she's not on the bus. Luckily, she's there. We have a new driver whom I suspect got her bus driver training in the public school system. She shouts at people to sit down white the bus is moving. She's driving a new bus, with eight hand loops in the front so you have something to hold onto if you have to stand. I don't know what she's going to do when the bus is full.

I think I hate this woman already and it's only day two. This morning, she pulled into the transfer center and stopped short of the platform to let the dispatcher get on and direct her where to go. A bunch of people started to stand up and get ready to leave, including Amy. The dispatcher was standing in the door and wouldn't let her out. The driver is yelling that nobody is going anywhere and we all need to sit down. Amy is in the front of the bus, obviously agitated. I can imaging that she knew she was supposed to get off the bus but was confused as to why she wasn't allowed to get off. The driver raises her voice at her and says, "you need to sit down, ma'am," with all the head shaking diva attitude you'd expect to see on the Mo Po Show. Amy looked like she was going to cry, and she's saying, "where do I go? Why can't I get off?" I called to her and said "Amy, it's okay, come sit down," which she did and when she was sitting in the seat in front of me again, I told her the driver needed to pull up to the curb before we could get off. She calmed down a little. When the driver finally stopped and let us off, she said "good bye, Amy. Have a nice day" as Amy was getting off the bus.

This upset me on so many levels. I sincerely hope she does not ever talk to Amy like that again. Amy obviously has some sort of developmental delay. She can get around on the bus by herself, but she doesn't recognize that the driver needs to pull up to the curb. She just knows she where she needs to be to get on her second bus. There is no need to talk to her like a 4 year old, but there is also no need to raise your voice to her or speak harshly to her. She doesn't understand and she was obviously upset. The fact that she's treating us like a bunch of middle schoolers, is also ridiculous. If her driving is so crazy that we'll get hurt if we stand up while the bus is in motion, then perhaps she should consider a career change.

(Add number 21 to yesterday's list. I am a fiercely loyal friend and will stick up for the little guy if that little guy doesn't have a voice of their own.)

I think you all may have rightfully inferred by now that I was that weird kid in your elementary school class. Not the weird paste-eating kid, but the weird kid who had imaginary cats and wore funky clothes.

(Add number 22. I didn't have an imaginary friend. I had two imaginary cats, Chuck and JoAnn, who had twenty-two imaginary kittens. I would yell at people if they were about to sit on them. Seriously.)

I was also the only one who was friends with Jane in elementary school. Jane lived a couple blocks up the street and was in my class. I think we might have walked to school together. Jane had Downs Syndrome. The kids in our class would tell her to lift her dress up and show off her underpants, which she did happily since she didn't know any better. The kiss of death for me was when I became her sworn defender. Meh. I didn't care. They all hated me (and Chuck and JoAnn) anyway, and Jane was cool. I remember being invited to her birthday party. My mom crocheted her a clown puppet for her gift. I was the only one at the party who didn't have some sort of developmental delay. I remember the party was a lot of fun. I'd like to think that Amy is somebody's Jane and that someone out there has Jane's back now. If this woman is anything other than sugar, spice and unicorns to Amy again, I'm going to the Triangle Transit Board of Trustees.

On the New Girl, Amy Number One, and hand-knitted items.

There's a new girl on the bus. She has mousy reddish brown hair, wears way too much brown and has an unfortunate predilection to Fun Fur scarves. The first week she was on the bus, she was under the impression that Sarge should magically or telepathically know when and where to let her off the bus. Finally this week she started to ring the buzzer like everyone else. This week she has also decided to pick up the bus at my stop rather than her old stop, where ever that was. I really don't care where she gets on the bus, except that she is lacking any ability to mind her own business. Someone coughs on the bus? She has to see who it was. Someone get off, she has to say goodbye to them. She's not special, just annoying. I head to the bus stop around 7 AM. At that time of the day, I'm not so interested in making friends. Especially with the recent insomnia thing, I'm not at my best at 7 AM. She, however, appears to be bright eyed, bushy tailed and chatty at 7 AM. I'd hate to have to choke her with that Fun Fur scarf.

This morning, Chatty Cathy tried to star a conversation with me. I wasn't having it. We got on the bus, I sat in front of Amy Number One, she sat across from her. I pulled out a hat I'm knitting for my friend Cailin (of Five Kids, Two Labs, One Lizard and a Hermit Crab fame). (Oh, by they way, Cai, you're getting a Christmas hat, but that's all I can tell you right now.) Anyway, Amy of course asks me what I'm making...I swear one of these days, I'm going to have to teach her to knit...

Amy: What are you making?
Moi: It's going to be a hat.
Amy: For who?
Me: For my friend Cailin.
Amy: Cailin.
Chatty Cathy: That's a pretty color red.
**Cai, you know you asked for a red hat, so no shocker there**
Me: Yes, it's going to be a Christmas present.

I wasn't talking to her, I was talking to my pal, Amy. Okay, yes, it is a lovely red color, but still...this is an AB conversation so see yourself out lady! (Or however that stupid phrase goes.)

------------------------------------------------------------

I also found out today that Floyd's name is not actually Floyd. I've been calling him Floyd for six months and he hasn't corrected me. I feel like a complete dork. I also learned he does yoga. He is definitely my favorite bus driver. I get about 15 minutes to talk to him in the morning. I've learned all about his family, his former job as an EMT. He's a neat guy. I'm going to miss him when they switch routes. I will not miss Special Ed trying to butt into our conversations in the morning.

Today's observations

1. On the way home today from work, I sneezed. Normally, this bodily function is not blog-worthy. But this is what happened when I sneezed.


Seriously, he's two seats in front of me, people. What the hell?

2. I learned today that Floyd does not wear socks. Something about this disturbs me.

3. This morning, the backdoor got stuck. Sarge kept his cool and called for a new bus, which was around the corner. We got off the old bus, boarded the new one, and were off. He was not about to be late twice in one week. Sarge had a hard time convincing Amy Number One she didn't need to swipe her pass to get on the new bus. When she realized it was not necessary, she thanked Sarge. It was cute. (She got in trouble with him last week for ringing for a stop when she wasn't supposed to. "You better be good now, Amy," was what he said to her.) Sarge got us to the Transfer Center with three minutes to spare. After he got off the bus to stretch his legs, I heard him talking to Floyd. "They were stressing me out this morning!" One thing I like the most about him is that all of the other drivers call him by his last name. They'll refer to each other by first name, except Sarge. They call him Mr. Spivey. I've never heard his first name used. Not even by Floyd, who may be older than Sarge!

4. I also wanted to let you know I figured out where Crunchberries come from. They come from this tree in my front yard.


Weighing the number of fallen Crunchberries on the ground against the squirrel and bird activity in the front yard, I am going out on a limb and say they are not edible. Perhaps Cap'n Crunch has to freeze-dry them first.

5. The beer dinner was superb. I'll post photos later.

Friday morning, headed to work, knitting a sock.

Bus arrives at Transfer Center, Amy Number One starts to get off the bus.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm knitting a sock."

still getting off the bus, not looking at me "For who?"

"It's for me."

Now off the bus, but shouting at me "Knitting two socks." I don't believe this is a question

"Eventually I'll have two socks."

Amy is walking towards her second bus, clearly finished with conversation.

Amy and The Hot Seat

Penny has been riding the bus off and on for as long as I can remember. She takes to 105 to RTP in the mornings. Recently she's been riding the bus more, to and from the park and ride. She seems like she's a pretty cool person. She knits most days and has a tragic obsession with fun fur and acrylic yarn. She's a cute girl. I try very hard not to hate her for her perfect hair...you know the type, she never has a bad hair day...it's super thick, has a perfect wave to it-not too curly, not too straight, and it's that great copper penny shade of red. It looks like all she does is wash it. (So unfair to those of us that are follicularly challenged!) Women spend hundreds of dollars to get their hair to look like this. Sigh In my next life....

Friday morning, Penny got on at the park and ride and sat in the seat in front of Amy. She pulled out her knitting and got to work. Hilarity and hyjinx ensued.

Penny: knitting

Amy: moves forward, stick head between seats "What are you doing?"

Penny: "I'm knitting"

Amy: "For who?"

Penny: "For a friend"

Amy: "What's your friend's name?"

Penny: "Jane*"

Amy: "What's your friend's last name"

Penny: hesitates "Smith"

Amy: "What's your name?"

Penny: gives her first name (I'll call her Penny)

Amy: "What's your last name?"

Penny: gives slightly complicated last name

Amy: "What?"

Penny: repeats last name

Amy: repeats last name

Penny: "What's your name?"

Amy: "Amy"

Penny: "What's your last name?"

Amy: "Lamb"

Penny: "Like a baby sheep?"

Amy: blinks

Penny: "A lamb is a baby sheep. Your last name is Lamb."

Amy: "Yeah"

Penny: "It's nice to meet you Amy Lamb" They shake hands

Amy: long pause "Hey, Penny, we're getting a bad storm."

Penny: "I don't think it'll be a bad storm. I think it will just be rainy."

Amy: "Yeah"

Amy: long pause "Hey, Penny, what did you do last night?"

Penny: thinks for a minute "I made dinner"

Amy: "What did you make?"

Penny: "Sweet potato cassarole"

Amy: "What else?"

Penny: "A salad"

Amy: "What else?"

Penny: "um, some tea"

Amy: "What kind of tea? Sweet tea?"

Penny: "No, it was hot tea. A berry tea"

Amy: "What kind of berry?"

It should be noted that by this point, everyone in the front of the bus has focused their attention on these two. The guy in front of me went so far as to put his book down and turn sideways like he watching a tennis match.

Penny: "It was some kind of Chinese berry, I don't know what it's called"

Amy: "What else did you do last night?"

Penny: "That was about it"

Amy: "Did you watch tv?"

Penny: "No"

Amy: "Did you watch the news?"

Penny: "No. I don't watch tv"

Amy: "You don't watch the news?"

Penny: "No, I read the paper"

Amy: "Did you read the paper last night?"

Penny: "No, I read it yesterday morning"

Amy: "What else did you do last night?"

Penny: "I called a friend and I made lunch for today"

Amy: "What did you make for lunch?"

Penny: "I have a sandwich. What did you do last night?"

Amy: "I had supper"

Penny: "What did you have?"

Amy: "Sweet potato cassarole and sweet tea"

Penny: "What else did you do last night?"

Amy: "I watched tv"

Penny: "What shows do you like?"

Amy: "I like The Simpsons and The Family Guy" That's awesome!

I think this went on for a few more minutes. This was seriously funny. I wish you could hear Amy's voice. She has almost a country Southern drawl. Her tone of voice is very monotone but she speaks pretty quickly, especially when she grills someone. She really could have a good career as a detective or CIA agent.

*names have been changed because I just can't remember them at this point.

She's like Christmas.

I've become friendly with a woman who rides the 105 in the morning. Her name is Pat. She works for the cable company. Turns out she's not pure evil, which I always assumed was a prerequisite for working for Time Warner. She's nice enough that when she told me where she worked, I had to apologize to her just in case I ever yelled at her. We got on the subject recently of working for utility companies. For the record, I did my time. It was miserable for too many reasons to recount at the moment. Pat mentioned she wasn't real thrilled with her job/boss/etc. Being the consummate HR lady, I started talking about my company. (I'm beginning to think I need to be a recruiter, I want everyone to love their job!) She's great to talk to, smart, funny. She's older than me, but not quite as old as my parents. She and I lament about the woman who used to drive. She was always late and always asking Pat for directions. That woman has been replaced. Pat wasn't on the bus last week. I saw her this morning and told her she can ride the bus again, we have a new driver, etc. Pat was in the first seat, Amy Number One was behind her, and I was in the second seat on the other side. In the middle of our conversation, Amy chimes in. She says to Pat, "hey, what's your name?" Like most people, Pat looks nervous and answers her. Amy then says, "What's your last name?" Pat answers her again. Amy then says, "So you were sick Monday?" "Yes, and last week," says Pat. Later I was drinking from my new water bottle that has blue skull and crossbones all over it and she wanted to know what I was drinking. I'll have you know I resisted the temptation to reply, "hooch." Too many questions.

More Bob this morning. Staring at me. Shudder.

The Cherry Cough Syrup Lady sat down directly behind me this morning. Within minutes I could feel my neck and shoulder tense up. Any thoughts on how to tell a total stranger their funky-ass cheap perfume is a wee overpowering?

Two more weeks until the latest installment of Meg On A Plane. I am off to California soon. I can't wait. And with any luck, that hottie pilot that flew me to Burlington will be along for the ride.

Happy weekend!

1. This morning I saw a guy at the Transfer Center that looked like the actor who played Clarence in It's a Wonderful Life. (I was going to add a link to IMDb, but my ISP is telling me they can't find the website! The world's gone mad!)

2. I don't understand why relationships have to be so complicated. This weekend should be...weird to say the least.

3. It was only 97 degrees out today. It was so hot it hurt.

4. Today was Tamale Friday at work. Our cleaning lady, N, is from Mexico. She and her sister make tamales on Friday morning and sell them in the office for $1 a piece. They make the traditional red and green chicken tamales, which are good. Last time they had refried bean tamales, which were sublime. Today they made me special black bean tamales. Oh my oh my, were they good. She didn't mention to me that there were big pieces of jalapenos in them. The first one didn't have a jalapeno in it, and it was yummy. The second one had a half of a jalapeno in it. Now, I like spicy food, so I'm okay with this. I just like to be warned before I eat spicy food. They were still really good. Later N told me the ones with the jalapenos were meant for the Indian girl in payroll who puts jalapenos on all of her food. N also surprised me with a cheese tamale, free of charge. It ws good but the bean ones were better.

5. Amy Number One got her hair did. She has quite a bit of grey. I'd guess she's in her early 40s. She gets it colored dark, black maybe and cut into a short bob. It's really cute, actually. And strangely enough, the same cut I'm going for with my hair.

6. Cast Away is on TNT right now. I love that movie. I love Tom Hanks.

7. I want to learn Russian so I can read Dostoyevsky in his native language.

8. Funquita, my afternoon 105 driver, was painting her nails while she was driving earlier this week. I let her supervisor know. She let me know by almost driving off without me yesterday. I was next to the bus, by the doors, and she drove off. Then she drove past my stop when we got to Raleigh. Nice, huh? She defines ghetto.

9. Save a couple quick errands tomorrow, I doubt I will be leaving the house all weekend. Except for a cook out on Sunday night. Otherwise, I'll be hanging out in the refrigerator all weekend.

Today is brought to you by the letter W and the number 105.

Today, the wackos on the bus welcomed me back warmly and openly. I saw The Other Amy's husband at the park and ride. He's not that attractive. She could do much better. Amy Number One wanted The Other Amy to sit with her this morning. She declined. Then she wanted to know what "waterworks" meant. I'm not sure The Other Amy knew because she replied, "um, you know, like a lot of water" in her high pitched voice.

I know the semester is over because there is a new group of Indian kids taking the bus to RTP.

Richard drove my second bus this morning. I haven't seen him in forever. He starts out by saying he can't remember where he supposed to go. He suggests Cisco...about five miles in the other direction from my office. Then he suggests Disneyworld and promptly laughs his head off. He gets to the stop in from of my office and gets on the PA system. He announces that we're arriving at our first timed stop, Dorothea Dix (the local mental hospital) and that he'll be the first getting off.

Bob got off the bus this morning and instead of saying hello to me as usual, he gave me the Evil Eye. Freaked me out a little.

I had yet another day free of Special Ed. Thank god.

The Cherry Cough Syrup Lady was on the afternoon bus. She's this larger black woman who, my hand to god, smells like cherry cough syrup. It's her prefume, I think, and it's wretched. "My, that scent is lovely. What are you wearing? Vicks 44D?"

Traffic today was beyond ridiculous. Gridlock to the point of I-40 being a parking lot just because it's a little rainy. I did work a little late, but I got home at almost 6:45.

Daily Nuttiness

-Yesterday, Amy Number One rang for the bus to stop when we got to Meredith College. Boyfriend was driving. He turned around and says to her, "where are you going?" She didn't really have a good answer for him. She clearly drives him crazy, but he's so patient with her. He must have kids. Patience like that only comes from raising little people.

-Grandpa was back behind the wheel this morning. College Boy rang for his stop. Grandpa kept driving. College Boy said, "stop, please." Grandpa kept driving. College Boy shouts at the top of his lungs, "STOP, PLEASE!!!!" Grandpa came to a screetching halt. I don't remember if I mentioned it, but last time he closed the doors on someone. He reminds me a little of the guy who drives the Knight Bus.

-The Raleigh city buses are called CAT, for Capital Area Transit. A high school teacher friend told me today that her students call the Raleigh buses, "The City Kitty." That kills me. City Kitty.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Not much has happened since last Wednesday. Here's what I got:

1. Constant, unrelenting, maniacal laughter from Amy Number One. Seriously. She's gone round the twist.

2. I got off the bus on Thursday or Friday, can't remember which, in the evening. I was about to cross the street and I heard honking. I don't normally assume that anyone honking is trying to get my attention, but this time that was the case. It was Boyfriend, driving an express to downtown. What can I say? He's smitten.

3. I still haven't seen MSG since Barry Manilow was in town. Perhaps he went on tour. Do people do that? Barry Manilow Tour? What would they be called? Copaheads?

4. I have a business trip on Wednesday (to a theme park. take a moment to hate me) and I return on Friday. I plan on taking the bus to and from the airport. On the way home today, I asked Sam if I could arrange for a shuttle in the middle of the day to take me to work. He said yes, but then proceeded to give me his cell phone number in case I had any problems. He said he'd personally drive me to work if I needed it. He's hilarious. I am coming to understand that there are many different reasons why people become bus drivers. Sam, I believe, does it because he genuinely believes he is helping people. Richard does it because he like the captive audience to entertain. There are a few for whom it is merely a paycheck.

5. I just ate a fantastic pear, spinach and gorgonzola sandwich at Helios. I highly recommend it.

6. The first bus was super late this morning. Which means I miss the regular shuttle I take at 7:45. While it pisses me off that I was 30 minutes late to work for the third time in three weeks, it also means that I got to take the 8:15. With Boyfriend. Aside from my prattle about how dreamy he is, I learned today that he is a really interesting person. I was the only person on the bus, which means we chatted for about 30 minutes or so this morning. I learned his name, what he did before he drove a bus, where he's from, where he's going on vacation at the end of the month and why. He talked quite a bit. He's smart and well traveled. He's traveled all over the US. Every state. Impressive.

7. I am reading Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer. I think that it is a really well written, well researched story. I'm about halfway through it. I had to force myself to put it down. I planned on reading it on the plane. Now I plan on reading the second half on the plane.

8. Helios is really cold.

9. Even with zippy WiFi, it's going to take a lifetime to download these movies.

10. On the way home to Raleigh, the bus driver was Cheryl, I think. She is super chatty and hilarious. She was in a very philosophical, deep conversation with the woman up front. She goes to the park and ride, and turns back on I-40. The girl next to me and I were looking at each other, like 'where the hell are we going?" I asked her where she was going. The other girl asks her if she was going down Hillsborough Street. She gets this completely confused look on her face, like she just doesn't know then starts laughing. She says she was going back to RTP. And the funniest part was she couldn't figure out how to turn around.

The Amy Show, season premiere, this morning!

I was knitting a baby blanket this morning. Amy Number One asked me what I was doing. I told her I was knitting. I think she asked me for whom I was knitting. I had my head phones on, you see. I said I didn't know, they hadn't been born yet. She replied, "oh" in that tone of voice that suggests "I don't know what the hell you just said but I'll pretend like I do." She them proceeded to turn to the window and carry on a two way conversation with her reflection. While she has been merely weird in the past, this was a little frightening.

The Other Amy

We have another Amy on the 105. She gets on at the District Drive Park and Ride. She is tall, dark hair, glasses, seems neither too crazy nor too retarded. And she's way, WAY too perky for 7 AM. She's got a rather high pitched voice and she's, like, really friendly. In fact, Amy is just the kind of girl I believe to be, well, dumb. She gets on the bus and has to chirp "good morning!" to everyone. And Amy Number One just loves her. This morning, before Chirpy Amy could even get on the bus because the doors hadn't opened yet, Amy Number One starts yelling, "HI AMY. HAVE YOU WATCHED THE FIRM YET?" My hand to God, she shouted this like eight times this morning. Even after Chirpy Amy answered no. Amy Number One was in rare form today. She had a new book to scribble in. She added the hand clap to her repertoire. All of a sudden she'd clap her hands together just once, like she was trying to kill a fly or something. Out of the blue. Oh, and how could I forget. At one point, she just started laughing. Not like she found something funny, but like maniacal laughter. Like her evil plan was about to come together.

Hi Amy.

I've come to notice that there are quite a few of "special" people who ride the buses. I really do love how public transportation can give anyone a sense of independence. There's one woman in particular who rides my first morning bus nearly everyday. She's probably somewhere around my age, give or take five years. She has dark brown hair which she apparently gets colored. Without it, she has a fair amount of grey. She wears glasses. They look very much like old lady glasses, with the kind of lenses that magnify her eyes. When it rains, she puts on a plastic bonnet normally worn by women 25 years her senior. She always has to sit in the second row, opposite the driver, in the seat by the window. Normally the row in front of her is empty.

Last summer, I found out why.

At the time I had shoulder length hair. On this day, it was pulled back into a ponytail. I'd had a migraine for nearly two weeks by this particular morning, so needless to say, I wasn't in the best of spirits. I got on the bus, swiped my card and sat down in the empty seat, the first row. The bus drives off and I mind my own business. About 3 miles later, on Blueridge Road, I hear someone behind me talking loud.

"Hey. What's your name?"

"Hi."

"What's your name?"

This goes on for a few minutes. Why would I possibly think I am being addressed here, since the WHOLE bus is behind me?

Finally, I hear, "Hey. What's your name?" in a rather annoyed tone of voice at the same time as someone yanks on my ponytail. Hard. I was ready to hit whomever it was that just did this. I turn around. She's got her head cocked to the side, her magnified eyes blinking at me. She's smiling. All I could say was, "Please don't pull my hair." I don't want to be known as the person who punched the retarded girl on the bus. Because that's not cool.

A couple weeks later, I am sitting in the row opposite her. I hear, "Hi Amy." Again, how am I supposed to know I am being addressed? Because, ya know, my name's not Amy. "Hi Amy." Again, this goes on. I look over at her. She's talking to me. "Hi Amy." "Hello," I replied.

She always has a pen and word search book with her. I got a look once at the book, and it's mostly scribbles. Not like doodling, but it's like she's crossing out the same thing over and over. She sounds out the letters she sees, trying to make words out of them. She'll yell out a "word" and bob her head back. "KERFAP" and the head goes back. "RASAF," and the head goes back again. She'll only sound out a couple "words" per trip, but it's a near daily occurrence. Keep in mind there is a big sign on the TTA buses that says, "No eating, drinking, profanity, or smoking." She must have had some combination of F C K, F U K, whatever, because she yells out "FUCK," head bobs back. I swear the bus driver nearly wrecked. He looks back in the mirror. She carried on, yelling this out a couple times, scribbling in her note book. The bus driver is just shaking his head. It was awesome.