My work here is done!

On my way home tonight, The Other Amy was on the bus. Turns out she's one of the TTA planners, which explains why I haven't seen her recently. If you all remember, Amy Number One loves her. I told TO Amy what happened yesterday morning. She was upset about it too. She understands, and from what she said tonight, knows more about Amy #1's condition. Apparently, she's autistic, which explains a lot. TO Amy said her mother came with her on Monday, which was the first day of the new changes. She said that even with her mom with her, Amy #1 was getting agitated.

The Other Amy is going to investigate who the driver is and talk to her with the Customer Service Trainer. It's nice that someone else has Amy #1's back too.

Nonsense? Prophecy? You be the judge.

I had a dream last night that I had moved back to Pittsburgh. It was snowing. I was riding the bus and dispensing advice on retirement plans to the other passengers. The Other Amy was my personal assistant and her latest assignment was choosing a few coffee table options from Ikea for me.

Where do I even begin?

The Red Headed Stranger has been going out of his way to say hello and goodbye to me recently. This afternoon, he got off the bus and turned around and waived at me through the window. Seriously he's totally cute. Even if he pulls his white crew socks all the way up. Sigh. That's right. White, ribbed crew socks. Pulled up as far as they go. But it's not in that ironic hipster sort of way. It's really sincere in that way that makes me think he still wears tighty-whiteys.

The 105 is still packed. Yesterday, I had to share a seat with this woman who also rides the bus everyday. She's older, super curly grey hair and extremely long legs. She's really nice and lives a few blocks down from my old apartment. We would see each other on the bus all the time, but never really spoke. She and I talked the whole way home yesterday. She's really nice and it seems like we have some things in common. We were sharing stories about weird stuff on the bus. She told me about this time that the regular riders of the 105 threw a baby shower on the bus for another regular rider. They had balloons, presents, the whole magilla. We also talked about crazies on the bus. I started to tell her about this guy who rides the 201. Before I could go any further, she said she knew who I was talking about. And she did. Turns out Bob is universally creepy. On a recent 100 degree Sunday when the bus wasn't running, I made the decision to suck it up and get one of those wire carts that old ladies use to schlep groceries. I was carrying two bags that were heavy enough to bruise my shoulders a little. (Okay, I bruise like a peach, but still they were damn heavy.) I hadn't gotten around to getting one and now I'm glad I didn't. Bob was at the Transfer Center in his full insane glory with a red wire cart full of overstuffed tote bags. I think this is proof that he can read my mind. Excuse me, I have to go make a tin foil hat.

I had to sit in the sideways seats this afternoon. I set my bag on the seat to do something and stood up all the way and whacked my head on the luggage rack. Now, those of you who know me in real life know I'm not tall enough to hit my head on anything!

The 105 was good blogariffic fun today. It started with Funquita not being able to close the backdoor near NC State. Instead of getting up and fixing it herself, she asks Cross Eyed Mary to do it. (Last week when the bus broke down by the "Veterns School" she handed the reflective orange triangles to passengers to have them put them out on the road. She's classy like that.) Mary couldn't work the door, as to be expected since she is not a licensed transit operator but rather a pee handler at LabCorp. Funquita finally gets up and fiddles with the door. This takes about five minutes. She then gets on the loud speaker and tells everyone to use the front door. At the next stop, on the other side of the university library, a woman screams in the back of the bus. Funquita turns around to see what's up. The woman says the guy with her just hit her. Funquita tells her that's not funny, she should be screaming while she driving, etc, etc, and so on. Suddenly this escalates into an episode of Jerry Springer. The girl in the back of the bus starts screaming at the top of her lungs. Seriously, it was frightening. She startes yelling about how she "got bit." (Someone in the back of the bus bit her?) Suddenly she's bit her lip because Funquita allegedly slammed on the brakes. Nope. She didn't. I am in no way her cheerleader, but Funky handled her business, albeit in a slightly ghetto way. This girl starts screaming that she's trying to get paid and that she got hurt because of a bus accident. Funky asks everyone in front if they heard this girl say she's trying to get paid. We all said yes. Funquita asked her like 15 times if she needed medical attention. Finally she said not right now. These two were going at it like one was messin' with the other's man. She offer to show her the bleeding lip. Funquita declined. Funky then got on the bus radio and said she'd call the dispatcher on a land line. She asked the passengers if they had a cell phone she could use. One of the passengers up front told her she was driving just fine and gave her their phone. She stepped out to call the dispatcher at the same time I decided I'd had enough. We were only six blocks from my apartment and one block from the Indian restaurant inside the Fast Fare. I got off the bus, picked up the veggie thaali platter and caught the next bus home. The Indian food was good by the way. The older lady cooking threw in an extra portion for me. It was awesome, something spicy with a ton of veggies.

There's a new guy at the Chargrill bus stop in the mornings. I call him Dr. Wow. He's an older, completely nondescript white guy. He's always wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants in monochromatic colors a few shades off of oatmeal. He has an NCSU id card and heads over near the forestry stuff on Blue Ridge. At least I think it's a forestry thing there. There is nothing remarkable about him except that he's had a World of Warcraft book every morning. He's been studying it like he's got a final exam coming up. Two days ago he was reading it upside down. Now, I'm not a WOW geek, but it seems unlikely that you'd read it upside down. He also stands in the line of sight of the approaching bus, which annoys me.

I was also ambushed by The Other Amy this morning. I was sitting in the back, knitting and she took the seat in front of me. She commented that my baby blanket was coming along or something like that. We ended up talking for a bit. She's not crafty. That's okay. She's still nice girl.

Brokedown Bus

The 105 broke down in front of the Vet School. Approximately four minutes after the NCSU Wolfline that goes by went out of service right at the same spot. Luckily another 105 came by about 10 minutes later and picked us up. It was standing room only to downtown until we hit the library at NCSU. That is where the Indian co-op kids get off the bus. All eighteen of them. I've never seen that bus so packed. I guess this means gas is still $4 a gallon. Also on the happy news front, it was only 91 degrees after work today so sitting on a dead bus wasn't that unbearable. It always amazes me how fast the TTA can recover from something like that. It has almost no impact on the passengers.

The Other Amy was sitting across the aisle from me. She is reading Lonesome Dove. Her taste in books is a bit odd, if I do say so myself.

I think I forgot to mention the Asian lady at the Park and Ride in the mornings. Every morning, like clockwork, for the past few weeks, she asks the driver where he's going. The bus either says "105 RTP Slater Road" or "105 Raleigh Moore Square" on the rolling marquis. Mine says RTP. Every morning she asks the driver if he's going downtown. Of course, he says no. And she gets this really confused look on her face. It's funny. And it's been going on since before I went to Vermont.

Today is brought to you by the letter W and the number 105.

Today, the wackos on the bus welcomed me back warmly and openly. I saw The Other Amy's husband at the park and ride. He's not that attractive. She could do much better. Amy Number One wanted The Other Amy to sit with her this morning. She declined. Then she wanted to know what "waterworks" meant. I'm not sure The Other Amy knew because she replied, "um, you know, like a lot of water" in her high pitched voice.

I know the semester is over because there is a new group of Indian kids taking the bus to RTP.

Richard drove my second bus this morning. I haven't seen him in forever. He starts out by saying he can't remember where he supposed to go. He suggests Cisco...about five miles in the other direction from my office. Then he suggests Disneyworld and promptly laughs his head off. He gets to the stop in from of my office and gets on the PA system. He announces that we're arriving at our first timed stop, Dorothea Dix (the local mental hospital) and that he'll be the first getting off.

Bob got off the bus this morning and instead of saying hello to me as usual, he gave me the Evil Eye. Freaked me out a little.

I had yet another day free of Special Ed. Thank god.

The Cherry Cough Syrup Lady was on the afternoon bus. She's this larger black woman who, my hand to god, smells like cherry cough syrup. It's her prefume, I think, and it's wretched. "My, that scent is lovely. What are you wearing? Vicks 44D?"

Traffic today was beyond ridiculous. Gridlock to the point of I-40 being a parking lot just because it's a little rainy. I did work a little late, but I got home at almost 6:45.

The gods, they smile on me.

What a day, peoples! What a day! Yesterday morning, I had some bread in my lunch box, a multigrain bread with millet, flax and sesame seeds. While I was waiting at the bus stop, the sparrows were hopping around, foraging in the Char-grill parking lot. If you're a bird, it's apparently a good place to look for breakfast. I pulled out the bread and started feeding the birds. It appears as though they remembered me. I sat down on the bench, and was greeted by a ballsy little sparrow who came close enough I could have pet him. He chirped at me. While this was happening, Babushko walked up. It was very cold this morning. Today, he wore his long black trench coat, gold corduroys long enough to cover his ankles and one gardening glove. He did not have his silk plaid scarf with him. He stood by the other bench for a few minutes, then walked over to me. He said, "Nicest lady of them all" a few times then walked over to the other bench. He repeated this a few times before the bus came. I think I might knit him a nice warm hat, scarf and gloves.

Recently, I've been taking an earlier bus because the one I normally take has been running very late. This morning, I decided to take a chance that it was running on time. The bus pulled up at the stop and who was behind the wheel? Boyfriend. Seriously. I must have looked pretty surprised because he started laughing. He mentioned he was filling in this morning. He normally only drives that route on Thursdays. The one thing I will say for the man, he's damn patient. An Asian woman got on near Meredith. She proudly announced to all of us several times that it was her first time riding the bus. I can only assume she meant first time ever in her life as she seems rather baffled by the process of paying for said bus ride. She couldn't figure out how to pay. Boyfriend seemed to sense we'd be there all day if he waited for her, so he told her to go sit down. She then thinks that this means bus virgins ride free. It took three people to convince her she had to pay. She is then confused as to how she is going to get to where she needs to go. She is going to Durham. Boyfriend says he'll show her which bus to take. She sits down next to the rack with the schedules, which she proceeded to tidy up. She pulls out the right schedule she needs for the second leg of her maiden voyage, but doesn't know how to read it. By this time, we've past the Park and Ride where The Other Amy got on. (Her work badge says IBM, but she wears a fleece jacket with the GoTriangle.org logo on it. I can't figure it out.) So, this Asian woman gets up and goes over to The Other Amy and asks for help. Amy was sitting quietly reading a book. I am not quite sure what it is about her, but she appears to exudes a "come hither" vibe to all the resident crazies. The Other Amy...Friend to all the animals. Amy gives her a crash course on reading schedules. During this exchange, Babushko is sitting next to me and is calling me the nicest lady of all. There's another woman behind me. She has that aura of someone with mental illness self medicating and trying to pass for a regular member of society. As usual, I had the headphones on. This woman barely taps me on the shoulder and asks me which bus can she take to go to Chapel Hill and ride around all day. She made it clear she didn't want to actually go to Chapel Hill, but rather ride around as long as possible. I told her I didn't know, because I really don't. She clarified what she wanted. I advised her I still didn't know. She then turns to The Other Amy for guidance. Once the Asian woman was settled in, she made a phone call. She covered her mouth and bottom of the phone with her hand like it was a secret. The funny thing is that I'm pretty sure she was speaking in Mandarin. Amy Number One was MIA today. I can't begin to imagine what she would have added to the mix.

When I go home, I went to visit my neighbor, Mary Jane. Mary Jane is 86, I think. She moved into Chez St Mary's on October 1, 1959. Eisenhower was in office, Alaska became a state, and there was much turmoil in Tibet. Barbie made her debut. Yours truly wouldn't make her debut for thirteen years and four days after Mary Jane moved in. As far as I know, she never married and never had children. She has a boatload of nieces and nephews. Nine exactly, who in turn collectively have 21 great nieces and nephews, who in turn collectively have 21 and a half great-great nieces and nephews for her. She showed me pictures. We talked. She has pictures of most of the residents of the building over the years. The guy who moved out of my apartment in November was a babe. She took my picture to add to the album. She is a really sweet lady. I need to visit her more often. She was close to my age when she moved in. I have to admit, there is a part of me that views her as The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come except nicer and worried if i go out after dark.

Today's observations

1. The cute bus driver was driving the 105 this morning. When I got on the bus this morning, he said, "Good Morning. How are you?" I think this means he's secretly in love with me.

2. Nurse Prince is a dumbass. He's this guy who dresses in bright purple scrubs, every time I see him. With a matching purple "leather" baseball hat. He just can't seem to get the hang of putting money in the machine. To this day. He just doesn't get it. Clearly, he's not a doctor. If he is, god help us! (Hope his med mal is paid up.) And Prince, well, what other self-respecting man wears head to toe purple day in and day out?

3. I've been listening to the Arctic Monkeys a lot. I think I need to move to London. Or maybe I just need more Brittish slang in my life.

4. A coworker, Frank*, was on the bus yesterday. He was telling me about the time he was on the 48 to work and there was a guy who was saying the rosary. Out loud. Beads and all. And then he asked to get off the bus at the railroad tracks. That's kind of creepy.

5. I had a dream lat night that I married a football player from Nebraska.

6. The Other Amy was reading The Lilac Bus. I don't know how I feel about that.

7. Cross Eyed Mary rides the 48. She works at LabCorp as an "Extraction Specialist." Basically, it's her job to handle my pee. Sometimes a person has a lazy eye that occasionally wanders off. Not her. One eye points in a totally different direction. If she's sitting sideways talking to the bus driver, which is most of the time, she's looking at both the bus driver and the person in the seat behind her. It's unnerving. Today she was wearing a tragic purple and grey sweater, tapered leg jeans that had faded from black to grey somewhere around 1991, and black original Reebok aerobic shoes.


*All names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The Other Amy

We have another Amy on the 105. She gets on at the District Drive Park and Ride. She is tall, dark hair, glasses, seems neither too crazy nor too retarded. And she's way, WAY too perky for 7 AM. She's got a rather high pitched voice and she's, like, really friendly. In fact, Amy is just the kind of girl I believe to be, well, dumb. She gets on the bus and has to chirp "good morning!" to everyone. And Amy Number One just loves her. This morning, before Chirpy Amy could even get on the bus because the doors hadn't opened yet, Amy Number One starts yelling, "HI AMY. HAVE YOU WATCHED THE FIRM YET?" My hand to God, she shouted this like eight times this morning. Even after Chirpy Amy answered no. Amy Number One was in rare form today. She had a new book to scribble in. She added the hand clap to her repertoire. All of a sudden she'd clap her hands together just once, like she was trying to kill a fly or something. Out of the blue. Oh, and how could I forget. At one point, she just started laughing. Not like she found something funny, but like maniacal laughter. Like her evil plan was about to come together.