"It's like Christmas!" or Why I will never get a job as a professional organizer.

I wasn't planning on posting until tomorrow, but I can't pass up the opportunity to grant you a backstage pass into my little world.

Those who know me well, know I am not the most organized of people at home...yes, Leah, I'm looking at you. I can't say why that is. Perhaps the fiber crafts get the better of me. In 35 years, the neighbors will complain about the "weird" smell coming from apartment four and the maintenance guys will find my rotting corpse under 300 pounds of yarn and fabric. Maybe it's just that I am so damn organized and Johnny-on-the-spot at work that I have no energy left when I get home to even put away my shoes. Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket.

Whatevs, yo. Love me or leave me.

So, anyway...I finally found some shelves that will work for the living room in the apartment I moved into in mid-November. In my defense, I had the Santas and a month and a half later the Bunnies to contend with around the time I moved in. Okay? Right, so I have new shelves. I am finally getting around to unpacking the remaining few boxes of tchocktkes. I now present you with a smattering of what I have excavated from said boxes. Don't ask. Just kiss all three of my foreheads and tell me it'll be okay.

1. Six rolls of scotch tape

2. About $2 in pennies in a tiny jewelery case.

3. A fortune cookie, slightly worse for wear

4. Two pads of drawing paper

5. A set of graphite pencils (I knew I had those!)

6. A set of oil paints (I never use oil paints)

7. $30 Barbados

8. A skull and cross bones temporary tattoo left over from a bachelor party I hosted

9. A bazillion recipes and knitting patterns I printed out

10. Two knitting books I knew I had but for the life of me couldn't find

11. Four rolls of film, unexposed, two 35mm and two 120 (Yay! Photo safari!)

12. Two zippers, one red, one burgundy

13. A Grateful Dead bootleg cassette from a show I went to in college (There. I said it. My deep, dark secret is a love of the Dead. Sue me.)

14. My recipe notebook I kept when I had my first sous-chef gig.

And irony of great ironies...

15. A back issue of better Homes and Gardens with a cover that reads, "Get Organized!" Guess I should have opened that box first, huh?

The good news is that the living room looks awesome and feels like home. It no longer appears like crazy people live here. I am going to keep it like this. I swear.