Tuesday, March 18, 2008


A very large man rides the 105. Sometimes he goes to the Airport Mall, sometimes he gets on at the Airport Mall. He sits on the sideways seats. Not because he is a larger individual, but rather because he likes to spread out. Not at all unlike a Playboy model. He'll usually begin his ride by holding one hand in the air, finger pointed and tracing numbers as though he is attempting to add up something. He then will chatter away to himself for sometime. He falls asleep a couple times in that way that only a narcoleptic can. His standard uniform is a red sweatshirt and brown pants. I don't get them impression he is required to wear that, though.

A couple weeks ago, he was on the bus. He went through his addition/subtraction, nap, conversation, nap, conversation routine. After this, he raises his right hand to the right side of his head and pulls out a few hairs. What does he do next? He eats it. You heard me. He ate his hair. My man pulled hair out of his head, put it in his mouth and began chewing. Did he do this once? Oh no. Lather, rinse, repeat? Nope. Pluck, chew, repeat. I swear, he must have done this, like, ten times. This was the single most disgusting act I have seen committed in public. Worse than the dude putting on deodorant, the other guy flossing, or my former coworker barfing into her trash can at her desk...and continuing to work!...He plucked hair out of his head. And ate it. It makes my stomach queasy just thinking about it.

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